In the lighter mood: No Fool Like An Old Fool? (Humour)

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A despicable husband was travelling round the country buying new merchandise for his department store.

His trip lasted longer than usual, so he would keep in touch with his wife by sending her texts saying, “still . travelling, still buying.”

After two more weeks had passed, the wife eventually sent a message back to him: “Come home at once or I’ll be selling what you’re buying!”
Vanguard