Takes car to a mechanic…
AMERICAN MECHANIC: We need to run some tests before we know the problem
NIGERIA MECHANIC: On am! Off am! On am again! Off am… Oga na radiator!
A man and his wife were traveling to Italy by air. As they were at the peak of the journey, the pilot announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry to announce that one of the engines has stopped working while the remaining one is not functioning as required. Therefore, we may crash in a few minutes from now. We advise that everyone should reconcile with their God and settle every issue that needs to be settled.”
At that point, Mr. Manji touched his wife Ellista and said, “Honey, please forgive me ooooo, your sister Simi that stays with us is my sex machine. We had several abortions. She has even planned to poison you on our return from Italy so that we can both elope to the U.S.A. Please, find a place in your heart to forgive me.
She responded “No problem, dear.”
She continued, “Since it’s a confession moment, let me also confess. Please you must also forgive me oooo! John and Esther, among our three children, are not your biological children. Your biological child is Victoria. The rest belong to Eti, your best friend! You also remember you were robbed by armed robbers last year?”
He answered, “Yes I remember.”
She continued, “I actually set you up for some gangsters who robbed you, because I needed to pay my boy-friend, Albrass’ tuition fee. He got admission in Oxford University in England. Even now as we are talking, I have arranged for your death through hired assassins on our return.”
Mr. manji responded “No problem I have forgiven you.”
Meanwhile as the confessions were going on, the pilot announced again. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s like you people are powerful men/women of faith, because, God has answered your prayers! The two engines are perfectly ok and we are sure of safe landing.”
At that point, all the passengers became mute, instead of celebrating the good news. One of the passengers shouted “Pilot, Pilot, this plane must crash ooooooo, or we will crash the plane!”
Everybody shouted “YES oooooooo!”