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LIGHTER MOOD: My Lord, Tell Me Where To Keep Your Bribe



*Prof Niyi Osundare*   boldly lampoons and ridicules Judges And NJC in an illustrative poetry entitled:        *My Lord, Tell Me Where To Keep Your Bribe* 

A lovely piece of poem by a blunt and courageous poet that will make your day….  

*“My Lord, Tell me Where to Keep your Bribe.*

A poem by Prof. Niyi Osundare.

Do I drop it in your venerable chambers

   Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion

Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank

    In your well laundered backyard

Or will it breathe better in the septic tank

     Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime

Shall I haul it up the attic

    Between the ceiling and your lofty roof

Or shall I conjure the walls to open up

    And swallow this sudden bounty from your honest labour

Shall I give a billion to each of your paramours

    The black, the light, the Fanta-yellow

They will surely know how to keep the loot

     In places too remote for the sniffing dog

Or shall I use the particulars

     Of your anonymous maidservants and manservants

With their names on overflowing bank accounts

     While they famish like ownerless dogs

Shall I haul it all to your village

     In the valley behind seven mountains

Where potholes swallow up the hugest jeep

     And Penury leaves a scar on every house

My Lord

     It will take the fastest machine

Many, many days to count this booty; and lucky bank bosses  

     May help themselves to a fraction of the loot

   My Lord

     Tell me where to keep your bribe?

My Lord

     Tell me where to keep your bribe?

The “last hope of the common man”

     Has become the last bastion of the criminally rich

A terrible plague bestrides the land

     Besieged by rapacious judges and venal lawyers

Behind the antiquated wig

     And the slavish glove

The penguin gown and the obfuscating jargon

     Is a rot and riot whose stench is choking the land

Behind the rituals and roted rigmaroles

     Old antics connive with new tricks

Behind the prim-and-proper costumes of masquerades

      Corruption stands, naked, in its insolent impunity

For sale to the highest bidder

    Interlocutory and perpetual injunctions

Opulent criminals shop for pliant judges

     Protect the criminal, enshrine the crime

 And Election Petition Tribunals

     Ah, bless those goldmines and bottomless booties!

Scoundrel vote-riggers romp to electoral victory

     All hail our buyable Bench and conniving Bar 

A million dollars in Their Lordship’s bedroom

     A million euros in the parlor closet

Countless naira beneath the kitchen sink

     Our courts are fast running out of Ghana-must-go’s*

The “Temple of Justice”

     Is broken in every brick

The roof is roundly perforated

     By termites of graft

 My Lord

     Tell me where to keep your bribe?

Judges doze in the courtroom

     Having spent all night, counting money and various “gifts”

And the Chief Justice looks on with tired eyes

     As Corruption usurps his gavel.  

Crime pays in this country

     Corruption has its handsome rewards

Just one judgement sold to the richest bidder

     Will catapult Judge & Lawyer to the Billionaires’ Club

The Law, they say, is an ass

     Sometimes fast, sometimes slow

But the Law in Nigeria is a vulture

     Fat on the cash-and-carry carrion of murdered Conscience

Won gb’ebi f’alare

     Won gb’are f’elebi**

They kill our trust in the common good

     These Monsters of Mammon in their garish gowns

Unhappy the land

     Where jobbers are judges

Where Impunity walks the streets

     Like a large, invincible Demon

Come Sunday, they troop to the church

     Friday, they mouth their mantra in pious mosques

But they pervert Justice all week long

 And dig us deeper into the hellish hole

Nigeria is a huge corpse

     With milling maggots on its wretched hulk

They prey every day, they prey every night

     For the endless decomposition of our common soul

My Most Honourable Lord

     Just tell me where to keep your bribe.

 Large, extremely tough bags used for carrying heavy cash in Nigeria

They declare the innocent guilty

They pronounce the guilty innocent.”

*Bamidele Badejo


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ABS @80: Sarumi, Great Man Who Humbly Works To Become Godly – Vicar Agbelusi



ABS @80: Sarumi, Great Man Who Humbly Works To Become Godly - Vicar Agbelusi

…Tasks congregants to prioritise God, in whatever they do

The Doyen of the Nigerian Maritime industry, High Chief Adebayo Babatunde Sarumi was on Saturday described as a great man, who through enduring humility, gradually worked his way before the Lord, until he became godly.

 The Vicar of Our Saviour Church TBS, Ven Ore Agbelusi made the observation in a Special Thanksgiving Service sermon, on the occasion of Chief Adebayo Sarumi’s 80th Birthday, at the Race Course, in Lagos.

The big Church was heavily occupied by a huge population, comprising core maritime industry operators, Sector decision-makers, political juggernauts, families and friends of Chief Sarumi, trying to dwarf the large numbers of actual congregants of the church.

Also Read: Echoes From ABS @80

Addressing the revered audience, the Vicar highlighted Sarumi’s virtues, dwelling especially on his selflessness, capacity to sow in seasons and out of season, and his unspared commitment to touching the lives of everyone who came in contact with him.

Leveraging on the 3rd Bible reading, taken from Matthew 6: verses 25- 34 which dwelt on not worrying over anything, but trusting the Lord to provide everything; while seeking His righteousness as everything else shall follow;  the Vicar stressed that Sarumi owed his success to his unhindered fear of God 

Ven. Agbelusi said while he had a strong desire to posit that Chief Sarumi had enjoyed some special favour of God, he was still restrained by his realisation that the celebrant always, especially prioritises everything about God, particularly the art of maximally giving glory to God!

Emphasising the symbolism of touching lives and demonstrating extreme gratitude to God, the Vicar recalled how once the Church decided to train some of its youths on skills acquisition; and at the end of the training, the church needed a certain number of Laptops.

The Church had vigorously and helplessly sought until the Celebrant’s wife brought it to her husband’s attention: pronto, a significant number of laptops were provided.

The elated Preacher stressed that a good number of those who obtained the laptops had since moved up the ladder of life, not necessarily because of the acquired skills, but because of the availability of the vital equipment!

He also recalled another instance of a seemingly lacklustre church building development, until Sarumi heard about it, and he wholeheartedly mobilised everyone to swoop on the project, and the uncompleted church building became a thing of the past!

“How then will God not be partial unto a man who prioritizes the things that touch Him!?”, he asked, adding that Sarumi knows that on whatever he had gone through, be it thick or thin, God is always there with him,

Ven. Agbelusi tasked his revered audience, to understand the need not only to serve God, wherever they are, but more importantly, to do so with genuine humility.

“God will never share his glory…”, he stressed, and strongly warned that the easiest way to go into oblivion, is to try to share God’s glory.

“Therefore, if anyone wants to go into oblivion, that person should strive to share God’s glory”, he stated, drawing sharp examples of the legendary King Nebuchadnezzar, who ate grasses of the fields like a beast until he repented; aside from another King, who was struck by an angel and instantly devoured by worms.

The sermon, obviously was tailor-made for the occasion. There was not a single poor man in the Church; and nobody slept or dosed in the excitingly, vivacious environment.

Some of those in attendance were the nation’s foremost shipping mogul, and Chairman, the Starzs Group, Engr. Greg Utomwen Ogbeifun; Chairmen of Seaports Terminal like Chief Obvude; the President, Nigerian Masters Mariners Association NMMA, Capt. Tajudeen Also; NMMA former president, Capt. Ernest Ishola.

Also in attendance were Maritime experts, the former Director General, Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency NIMASA, Barrister Mfon Usoro and her husband, a guru and Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Chief Usoro, a Prince of Ibadan and President General, Maritime Workers Union of Nigeria.

Other Maritime industry experts in the church included Capt Iheanacho Ebubeogu, and Capt Olopoenia, amongst several others.

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Igbo-Owu 1999 Old Student Alumni Set Celebrate 25th Anniversary



Igbo-Owu 1999 Old Student Alumni Set Celebrate 25th Anniversary

The Old Students Association of Igbo-Owu Secondary School 1999 set (IGBOSSAA) Mushin, Lagos on Sunday celebrated the 25th anniversary of the graduation from the school.

The celebration involving prominent personalities from various professions was held at Standard Hall Hotel in Mushin, Lagos state.

Part of the lineup of activities done during the previous week was the presentation of the public address system to the school, An Award presentation was given to the pupils of the school, as free medical outreach like blood sugar level, and BP Checks among others was organised for the old school students of the school, the teachers and disable at the programme.

In his welcome address, the alumni president, Mr Hakeem Kazeem, commended members and their former teachers for creating time to attend the event.

Kazeem said the programme’s major objective was to promote the school’s development and encourage students graduating from the school to embrace the developmental programme and its milestone achievement.

He said the programme would feature the exchanging of ideas among old students on projects and programmes, showcasing products and networking among members that can be executed to enhance the development of their former school members.

” I want to thank God for his grace upon our lives to witness this special day to gather and celebrate the 25th anniversary of our graduation from Igbo-Owu secondary school.

“The major objective of this programme is for us to brainstorm and interact on how to promote the development of our school for upcoming graduating students to emulate and build on.

” We appreciate all our past and former principals and teachers who came from far and near to honour our invitation.

“‘ Ladies and gentlemen, you are officially welcome and I wish us all happy celebrations,” he said.

In his remarks, one of the former principals of the school, Mr Folorunso Etti thanked the association for inviting him and other former teachers to the event.

Etti appreciated God for giving him and the old students good health and grace to be alive to see each other after many years.

He advised the old students to embrace leadership positions in society to bring positive development to the country.

“I want to advise every one of you to embrace a leadership position in society and promote the development of our country.

“What we impacted unto you is the idea of what you are doing today, so replicate the same to change the narration and history of Nigeria,” he advised.

Some of the highlights of the activities of the association during the week include a football novelty match between the old students and the students, an award presentation to the best students and free medical treatment for school teachers.

Igbo-Owu secondary school, Mushin, Lagos was founded in 1983 and has produced prominent Nigerians who were successful in their chosen careers.

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ADEBAYO SARUMI: Doyen of Maritime Industry Marks 80th Birthday Anniversary, Saturday 



ADEBAYO SARUMI: Doyen of Maritime Industry Marks 80th Anniversary, Saturday 

All roads will lead on Saturday, to Lagos Island as Movers and shakers of the Nigerian Maritime industry, diplomats and Royal fathers assemble to celebrate the Doyen of the Nigerian Maritime industry, Chief Adebayo Babatunde Sarumi, as he marks his 80th Birthday anniversary.

Chief Sarumi is the only renowned Nigerian administrator to successfully manage both the Nigerian Shippers Council and the Nigerian Ports Authority NPA as Chief Executive Officer; and honourably vacate the seats, leaving behind, truly indelible marks!

ADEBAYO SARUMI: Doyen of Maritime Industry Marks 80th Anniversary, Saturday 
Chief Adebayo Sarumi

Happy Birthday Sir, the only Maritime Guru who is a revered High Chief in both the Southwest and South-South.

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ADEBAYO SARUMI: Doyen of Maritime Industry Marks 80th Anniversary, Saturday 

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